I thought I'd give something back to the community that introduced me to pmma and changed my life.
After having one session with Dr C I realised that issues about my (then) thin penis would be a thing of the past. This has changed my life in ways I never thought possible. I didn't realise the importance I laid on my penis openly and subconsciously and the effects it had on my confidence in bed, in my relationship, and life in general. The change in me has been phenomenal to say the least.
I still had one big problem, however.
I also suffered from pretty severe premature ejaculation.
Not the kind where I would spunk in my y fronts on sight of a vagina, but it really did not take long once I was inside my woman, to blow my load. 2 minutes, tops.
It really dented my confidence.
I felt like it was a part of who I was, that it was a problem I would have to see out till the end of my days.
I've had this problem since the day I first ejaculated - I cant remember the last time I lasted longer than a few minutes even when masturbating. I believed I had an overactive nervous system. Well I was right. I do have an overactive nervous system, but more on this later.
Occasionally there have been a few sessions when I would be masturbating for ages for reasons I could not understand.
It could be that I had already ejaculated once or more before these sessions.
I last longer after ejaculating, as I'm sure anybody does.
I would often ejaculate twice before having sex with my partner so I could last more than 5 minutes. This, however created another problem that was just as frustrating, if not more. I couldn't maintain an erection.
Sure taking away the desire for sex is going to make you last longer before ejaculation - but you want to be able to be in the position to ejaculate in the first place!
So for months I would ejaculate twice and pop a pill of 50mg viagra before having sex with my partner.
So not only was I having sex with a desensitized penis, but I also looked like a pomegranate with my face flush with blood, my head spinning because of the induced blood pressure and my mouth dry as a canyon.
This was not a long term solution and I knew it.
50 mg soon became 100. My body learnt to tolerate the viagra, so it became dearer to maintain this lifestyle.
I simply could not be passionate about sex - I didn't really desire it at the time, and my head always felt like it was gonna explode.
Sex felt a chore.
Yes, I did last longer, but nothing outstanding. 10mins, 15 tops.
At one point I thought. Enough is enough.
I'm going to conquer this, I'm gonna cure myself of this crap.
So I researched heavily into the ejaculation process. Into breathing techniques, into the role of the prostate, kegels and reverse kegels, prostate massages, the role of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, little tricks etc.
I (illegally) downloaded premature ejaculation ebooks because deep down I did not think there was a cure in technique and that they were all scammers anyway.
There was this one particular manual that was very informative. It really emphasised on keeping the parasympathetic system active and dominant, the sympathetic system dormant and keeping oneself in a relaxed mental state. During an erection, once the sympathetic system is fully engaged and active, ejaculation is imminent. The longer you can keep it from becoming fully active, the longer you will last.
I knew for a fact that this person knew what they were talking about.
They said that it would take weeks of exercising and training oneself to see any change.
This is the only way to do it.
You have to allow your body to increase it's threshold for stimulation and pleasure before ejaculation.
It takes months of training everyday. It really does.
The prostate gland also has a role - many of those who suffer from premature ejaculation may have weak prostate glands. They may benefit from prostate massage.
I can't talk for these people though, I can only relate to you what has worked for me. I have an overactive and very efficient motor-nervous system. This is something that will only change with age. It has it's benefits - I am proficient at sports.
You won't believe how simple it is.
1) First, you need to actively 'curb your enthusiasm' as soon as you start your sexual episode. This doesn't mean thinking about football 2 seconds before you're about to ejaculate. Even upon penetration is too late. You need to start as soon as you start kissing/touching/foreplay. You don't need to focus on something else, just don't mentally arouse yourself. This takes practice, and porn is no help.
2) Perceive, don't think about things sexually. Yes, this may sound like it means less fun, but if you have an overactive nervous system like myself, it's something you need to learn to accept. See, but don't get emotionally involved - turn that part of your brain off. This will keep your arousal leveled.
3) RELAX your pc/bc muscles. Kegels have their place - erection control. For me, ejaculation control was not effected.
Kegels and reverse kegels (push out) seem to help control these muscles but they should not be done during sex. You need to very slighlty push out to keep these relaxed. It needs to be very subtle. I ensure this by slightly pushing out my anus.
It keeps it nice and relaxed down there. Contracting will apply undue pressure on the prostate and definitely result in early ejaculation. Some of you will contract your muscles without even realising. Be aware of this!
4) Slow breathing. This keeps your parasympathetic system (sleep, rest, digestion, relaxation system) active, and the sympathetic system (fight, flight or ejaculation) dormant. How do you breath slowly? Try triangular breathing from the belly (diaphragm). This means inhale say 3secs, exhale 3secs, wait 3secs.
How do you breath slowly during thrusting?
Obviously you don't breath on every thrust that would be lunacy. Just try to inhale when pulling away and exhale when thrusting into the vagina. You'll work out the rest.
5) My recent discovery and gift to this wonderful community..... and hopefully a breakthrough for others with the same or similar problems...
Smile and smile wide. I promise you this has some sort of effect on curbing arousal, activating the parasympathetic nervous system and subduing the sympathetic system.
It really works. When we smile, we can't help but think happy thoughts, and it must release a plethora of hormones into our brains.
It is a part of human evolution and a massive part of who we are.
One of the first things a newborn baby learns is to smile. It is as natural a reflex as is ejaculation. Smiling however, can be induced willfully.
You may look like an idiot when smiling but your partner doesnt have to see you.
For example in missionary position your head could be beside hers. It may be problematic when kissing etc.
But then again, you dont want to be contsantly smiling anyway. You want to use it sparingly, to keep arousal low. For everything else, practice make perfect.
It all makes sense now.
Ive seen pornstars smiling wide many a time when it looks like they're trying to control orgasm. They crunch their faces and widen their mouths as far as possible and now I see why.
Please try this and see if it helps. If it does please let me know!!!