My story starts out with a virgin I dated. I knew I was small but figured she had no one to compare me to so I had little reason to be concerned. We dated for about 2 years and while the sex was semi-enjoyable, I always knew there was more to be desired. It didn't help that she felt a bit looser than I expected a virgin to feel like on our first fuck. She was a sweet heart and never pointed out my lack in size...perhaps because it was obvious, I'm not sure lol. It was also difficult to dress in front of her, because when I turtled, I'd look deceivingly micro. These things played with my head both during the relationship and years after.
Then there was my fascination with porn, which I'm sure many of us can relate to. These bastards in the adult film industry aught to use average or below average sized men in the films so the rest of us can actually feel normal, but I suppose that isn't their objective. A lot of the guys they hire are rock hard, last forever, and sport lengths of 7" + and girths of 5.5" + , clearly just above the average range. No matter how much I tried to remind myself that these guys were hired because they were freaks of nature, I could not help but wonder if having that size would equal more confidence, and in turn, a better sex life.
But what really made me realize my smallness, were (believe it or not) PE forums. I started to read threads in hopes to find guys similar to me, since I'd imagine that the bulk of guys visiting PE sites were small. But on the contrary... many of the guys I read were dreaming of making their 7x5s and their 8x6's bigger. There were many 6x5s who were almost deemed "small" relative to the rest of the forums users and I was hard pressed to find ANYONE on the site(s) that were my size. Wow... it was like, man I'm really small. I'm so small that I can't even find similar-sized men on a website that would logically attract them. I was in a gray area, above micro, but below average. My size was as common (in percentage) as guys with super cocks.
Having realized this made me realize another "fact." Chances are, if I sleep with a woman who has had EVEN ONE other partner, that I'm likely to be her smallest partner. The more partners she has, the more glaring my lack of size would be. So all this talk of EQ, chemistry, confidence, etc felt as if it had no application to me. I could have it all, but I could not escape the inevitable classification in the mind of my partner that I would have been the "smallest she's ever seen." You would hope that I could meet women who were more concerned with my heart & character than my endowment, but over the years I have had a (horrible) knack for attracting size queens and/or experienced lovers.
So I decided to look into manual PE for length gains, but I knew obtaining the amount of girth I needed to consider myself adequate would be incredibly difficult to have via PE exercises alone. I say this because people's results vary with PE exercising, as does the extent of those results. I was not sure I had the mental patience or energy to endure months, if not years, of aggressive PE exercising (which poses risks in itself) to see whether or not I could make reasonable gains. Even a gain of 1" in erect girth (which is a lot to gain via PE exercising) would not satisfy my goals.
So that is where Phalloplasty came into play. I was a member of both the Yahoo Group, MyNewSize, and Thundersplace for the early part of my phalloplasty research. I saw both accounts and photos of virtually every procedure under the sun, did a lot of private messaging (wasn't much of a forum contributor at the time), and had a gut feeling that this would inevitably be the route I took for girth enlargement.
My first real consideration was Dermal Fat Grafts, but began to really struggle with the amount of "meat" they'd be cutting out of me to have it done. Then came the infamous silicone implant which yielded both positive & negative results. I had taken the implant option very seriously but never actually committed to it.
Then came late 2010 when MyNewSize was falling apart. I felt it was necessary I do this tainted topic (phalloplasty) some justice to myself and others and opened PhalloBoards. Since then, the advent of PMMA's popularity caught my attention and in the Spring of 2011 underwent my first injections. I chose this route on a number of considerations, which I will later elaborate on in my progress report. It has been successful in the short term, but only time will tell if this method is the real deal.
I still plan to get more injections, and I still plan to begin a traction/stretching campaign for length, because my pursuit for PE is NOT OVER.